Posts by Asher Gottesman

Expectations are resentments that are just waiting to come out. However, the truth is that we all have expectations, and it isn’t at all realistic not to have them. To take it a step further, extremes of any emotion aren’t healthy, and in fact they can be deadly; it’s all about the happy medium and…

The greatest gift a teacher can give me is two-fold; first is saying, “I don’t know, let me see if I can find an answer”, second is to admit when they were wrong and say, “I’m sorry, I made a mistake”, and a close third is sharing their own humanity.  As a child, at times…

“What makes Abrahamic monotheism different is that it believes there is an answer to the question, why. Neither the universe nor human life is meaningless, an accident, a mere happenstance. As Freud, Einstein, and Wittgenstein all said, religious faith is faith in the meaningfulness of life.” -The Great Partnership from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks Every great solution requires…

Masks. We all wear them. Sometimes, it’s to protect ourselves; sometimes it’s to fool others into thinking we are someone we aren’t; sometimes it’s due to fear of judgement and shame. Personally, throughout my life I have worn a mask many times because I feared that if you really knew me, you couldn’t possibly love me.…

Recently, I was reading a speech made by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks in July, 2006 at an Israel solidarity rally. This was at a time when Israel was stuck fighting in both Gaza and Lebanon—something that almost 18 years later is continuing to happen. The Oslo accords, while a great effort and hope for peace, unfortunately…

Here’s a question that’s been on my mind: Am I responsible for my brother’s actions? For that matter, what exactly is my responsibility in protecting my fellow from both harming themselves or harming us– or for that matter, me? There is a saying in Judaism which says, “Don’t rebuke the fool, hence he will hate.…

Moses and Aaron were both brothers and leaders of the Jewish people, yet they couldn’t have been more opposite. Moses was a man of truth and justice and black and white, while Aaron on the other hand, was a man of peace, mediation, and compromise.  When I think of Aaron, I’m reminded of a story…

I had an insightful conversation with a friend yesterday regarding what we can do when tragedy hits us. Specifically, we were discussing family members of people who suicided (by the way, I hate that word, and I wish we could come up with a different one.) The answer—over and over again—is to share the tragedy…

“It is only by becoming builders that we turn from subjects to citizens.” -Rabbi Jonathan Sacks Most of us find commonality in our past, our history, and our experience. An alcoholic can generally understand another alcoholic, and someone who has suffered a specific trauma can often relate to others who have experienced a similar trauma.…

I have two ideas which I want to discuss; on the surface, they don’t seem to be connected, yet I believe if we take a deeper look from a slightly different angle, the connection is undeniable. First let’s look at the difference between shame and guilt. The message we take from shame is “I am…