Last week, I was taking an outdoor cycling class, and the instructor kept telling us to listen to the beat, and to do our best to stay on the same foot as one another. The instructor wasn’t so much interested in the choreography of what we were doing— he was interested in reminding us that when we ride together as a tribe, and as a community, we are so much stronger than when we choose to ride alone. 

Immediately after class, I felt inspired by what I had experienced, and I chose to write out a quote for myself: “Find your tribe, before you lose your beat”. This was my first class since March, and it really reminded me how much I love group fitness. Much more so than working out by myself, I find that exercising as a group truly gives me the energy, and the support that I am often lacking when I attempt to work out on my own. 

This truly is a metaphor for life. As humans, we seek connection and safety; there is a reason that the phrase ‘safety in numbers’ exists, and it is because when we are with a larger group of like-minded people, we are more confident and more motivated, and we are so much better positioned to really reach our goals. I find that when I am surrounded by like-minded people, I am not afraid to show me: what I stand for, and who I really am. When I really feel connected, I know that I can rise so much higher than if I try to do it all alone. 

It is so important to find this tribe and this community before I really get to the point of needing it, because by the time that I really need it, I am usually alone, isolating in my head, and too afraid to reach out for that connection that I truly know that I need. It is ironic, because these are the moments when I need my people the most, and these are also the moments when it also feels the hardest to reach out to others. 

I am incredibly fortunate, in that I have my Jewish community, my twelve-step community, and a few dear friends that I can lean on. I find that I am the most comfortable in my twelve-step community, since I am not as afraid of being judged— being seen as me. In this community, I do not have to show up in any way other than as myself, and in these moments I am reminded that I am good enough as me. For me, the spirituality that blossoms and comes forth in these rooms is greater than anywhere else, since it is entirely built upon the premise of service— sharing with others what was so freely given to you. Without a doubt, in being of service, I really do feel the ultimate sense of connection.

Last week, I spoke with someone who opened my eyes to multiple other forms of community. One, which I mentioned above, is group fitness, with another being group volunteer work in a field that you are passionate about, whether that be little-league, helping the homeless, assisting the elderly, mentoring the developmentally disabled, or caring for the sick. All of these are worthy causes deserving of our attention, our time, and our care, and I pray that we all find the community that we feel the most connected in. 


In this hyper-technologically connected— yet super disconnected world, how do you find your tribe? How do you find and create community for yourself? And, where do you allow yourself to be seen— to just be yourself with no fear of judgement? 

This week, spend some time with yourself. Find out what you are passionate about. If you can not find passion, find out what you are interested in doing, and find a group that is already doing it, and join them. If you can not find a group— or that sounds like too much— find one or two friends to do an activity with. I urge you to not wait until you feel so disconnected, so isolated, that the molehill of seeking connection becomes a mountain. This week, really put forth your utmost effort into finding your tribe. 

Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love

Asher

I want to remind all of you that you can hear more on my podcast, Showing Up. We have lots of amazing shows with interesting guests on a variety of personal development topics. It would be great if you could also rate 5 stars, review and subscribe to the show. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/showing-up-with-asher-gottesman/id1489856285y

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