Lately, I have been grappling with the concept of difficult conversations. I want to make sure that I don’t hurt anyone, therefore how do I go about honoring myself, and honoring you at the same time?
It is so much easier when the stakes are low. I can tell you that you look amazing in the outfit, regardless. I can tell you that you are skinny, regardless– yet, how about when the stakes are much higher?
There have been so many times when I have been afraid that if I tell you how I feel, or what I need, you may not like me, only to later resent you for not inherently knowing, and then not meeting the needs that I never told you I had.
Another area where I have been afraid of being transparent, is if I believe that I have a talent that I don’t want to share with you, for fear you may find me egotistical. Can you relate to this? This hiding of areas where we truly believe we can shine, for fear of others looking down upon us?
My question to you, is how do you deal with being conflicted with being transparent, when you are afraid to tell someone what you would like, or what you need from them in a relationship?
I have found that almost every single time that I don’t express my needs, I end up coming across negatively. I will be passive aggressive, I will end up getting angry, and my poor friends don’t have any idea why I am coming across that way, because in truth, I never let them know where I am coming from.
Radical honesty doesn’t mean saying everything that comes to mind. What it does mean, is being vulnerable and being open with those closest to you, expressing your needs with complete transparency, and letting people know what you need from them, and what your expectations are.
I have always been taught not to have expectations, yet how unrealistic is this? In truth, I’m just as likely not to have expectations, as I am to not be human.
Lately, I have taken a new tact, in that I have tried to identify what my absolute most important needs are, and then I share them honestly and vulnerably. This helps to keep my expectations in check, and also creates the ultimate bond, and the ultimate connection with the person I’m sharing them with.
This week, please trust in your value, and share your needs, your expectations, and your desires with your partner, and your loved ones. Without being pushy, be transparent, and be vulnerable with those you hold dear; when you are open and vulnerable with others, you will be surprised with how beautifully people respond.
Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love
I want to remind all of you that you can hear more on my podcast, Showing Up. We have lots of amazing shows with interesting guests on a variety of personal development topics. It would be great if you could also rate 5 stars, review and subscribe to the show. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/showing-up-with-asher-gottesman/id1489856285y