Loneliness, fear of missing out, and concern with what others think of us have all been topics that have been on my mind, and have also been brought up by many of the folks I have the privilege of spending time with.

I think these are all actually very similar feelings which come from the same place. Very often, I feel lonely when I’m unable to show my real self to someone and when I feel as though I must put on a show for others to like me, which is exactly the same as being concerned with what others think of us. Similarly, the fear of missing out causes us to be lonely, as we can’t pick a lane because we are always afraid of what may be, and more so we can’t be present for fear of what we may miss.

The question to me is, how do we address these challenges, since we all know shaming ourselves over them will just get them to be louder and louder.

I’m reminded of a story I heard related to a person in early recovery going to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He said, “What if people judge me for how I look or what I’m wearing?” His friend responded, “Don’t worry, you’re walking into a room full of selfish, self-centered people; all they are worried about is how they look and what they are wearing.”

To me, this is a true metaphor for life, and if exercised properly, is a key to overcoming these three crippling challenges. Our own head is our worst enemy; our fears of what others think and of what we are missing out on are self-centered in our brains. They are in fact, not true, beyond reminding ourselves that what others think of us is none of our business. It’s how we choose to think of ourselves, and it’s how we hold ourselves accountable that makes all the difference.

This week, let’s remind ourselves that when we have FOMO, all we are doing is missing out on what we are doing right now, which only takes us out of the present by creating loneliness and isolation.

Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love

Asher

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Posted in Thought of the Week