I spent the last 5 days with an incredible group of healers. I’m so fortunate to have met them, and for the many incredible stories I heard and lessons I learned.

I learned two personal lessons that will have a lifelong impact on me if I stay accountable to them.

The first lesson is that essence precedes form.

My personal interpretation is that when I have an awareness, to say that I’m not living “authentically”. When I come to the realization, it feels overwhelming and I’m not sure how to commit to living “authentically”, yet as long as I commit to it and remind myself daily, the form will come. The point is to pay attention, so when the form comes, you act on it, yet you don’t force it. You don’t avoid it.

The second lesson is possibly more important than the first, and it definitely ties into it. I so often use words like “authentic” that have a connotation that I’m not living authentically, and these are—dare I say– negative words that cause myself shame.

My dear friend said to find the words that speak to you kindly. He said for him, it is, “Am I living above the line or below the line–not authentic or inauthentic”. The key is to find the words that motivate you from a positive perspective.

To add to this lesson, when speaking with our loved ones–or for that matter, anyone– the key is to find the words that they understand. This is how we motivate them from a positive perspective, while making them feel loved and cared for. It’s not what you are saying, it’s what you and they are hearing.

This week, let’s be intentional with our words. Let’s make sure others hear what we are saying, instead of only us hearing what we are saying.

Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love


I want to remind all of you that you can hear more on my podcast, Showing Up. We have lots of amazing shows with interesting guests on a variety of personal development topics. It would be great if you could also rate 5 stars, review and subscribe to the show. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/showing-up-with-asher-gottesman/id1489856285y