Sometimes, the simplest epiphanies are the ones that have the most massive impact on us. And sometimes, these insights and realizations are centered around something we already know, yet thus far have chosen not to practice. When we experience these epiphanies, and set out to put our realizations into play, these minor shifts in our thinking and our behavior allow things to finally click into place for us; our path becomes clearer and more defined, and things finally start to make sense. It is only through experiencing this perspective shift that we are able to clear away our mental hurdles, take back control over our lives, and make the necessary transformation from the victim to the victor in our own personal story.
Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend who is truly blessed, yet has been experiencing an extreme struggle with alcohol. During our conversation, he said to me, “I know that I am truly blessed, yet why can’t everyone just leave me alone and let me drink?” He was on what I call the ‘poor me’ rant, the old ‘why can’t I be normal; why me—why me’ spiel. Needless to say, he was engaging in self-pity, and feeling deeply sorry for himself
Now typically, I do my best to be compassionate and lead others to their own conclusions— yet yesterday, I felt a strong pull to respond. I kindly said to my friend, “you just told me how blessed you are, and your only problem is alcohol— which in turn, is causing you problems with your wife, parents, kids, and friends. How about instead of stopping because of them, or feeling sorry for yourself, you make the proactive decision to say to alcohol ‘I’m choosing me, I’m saying no’, in effect making it your decision to quit drinking, as opposed to it being a choice you feel forced into.”
This very small shift in thinking is what allows us to turn from victim to victor. Instead of having to go on a diet, choose to go on a diet. Instead of having to work out, having to spend time with family, having to work, and having to abstain from harmful behaviors, look at yourself as the powerful being that you truly are, and choose to do these things. Stop living reactively, and instead live proactively. Stop separating yourself through your thinking, as it leads to even more separation in your behaviors and subsequent actions. Reframing and shifting one’s perspective in this way really allows us to appreciate and take a greater sense of satisfaction from things we would otherwise be loath to do.
Certainly, there are times when we all feel stuck, confused, or filled with dread. Yet It is in these moments that shifting our perspective allows us to constructively move past these negative feelings— in effect, empowering us to take action, learn more about ourselves, get unstuck— and ultimately keep moving forward.
How do you choose to shift your perspective? What do you do to overcome mental hurdles and reframe the way you look at things? And finally, how do you change your personal narrative in order to go from the victim to the victor?
This week, take a look at the things that are causing you stress, that you feel you ‘have to do’ and instead choose to do them. This will make you an active participant in your own life, and allow you to take back some of the power that we all cede to various people and circumstances over time. This simple shift will give you the freedom of being in charge of your destiny, and will truly make you the hero of your own story.
Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love
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