Where do you think the essence of forgiveness comes from? And to add to that question, do you believe people can truly change?
Changing is one of the hardest things in the world. Yet, I believe it’s possible and it happens all the time; the key is really knowing oneself and knowing what needs to be changed.
This is where forgiveness comes in: changing requires understanding the difference between shame and guilt.
Shame is, “I am bad”. Guilt– on the other hand– is “I did a bad thing”. For example: I may have stolen, lied, or cheated, yet that doesn’t automatically mean I am a thief, a liar, or a cheat. Shame tells us, “I am a liar”, whereas our guilt says, “I lied”.
Forgiveness requires me to assume one can change. Otherwise, how can I begin to forgive myself? I forgive myself when I accept that my behavior is inappropriate and wrong, and I make the needed changes in my life to change that behavior. If I can’t change that behavior, I can appease, I can come down, and I can let go, yet I can’t forgive myself.
Do you believe people can truly change? Furthermore, If someone does change their ways, do you feel it is appropriate to forgive them, even when they have wronged you?
Personally, I have seen so many people truly change, including myself. Yet as I have asserted earlier, it requires hard, real work and more importantly, it requires real insight. In order to change, we need insight into knowing what we did wrong and what was wrong about it. Otherwise, we aren’t changing, and if we don’t change then we are inevitably going to repeat the act again; hence, what is forgiveness really worth?
This week, let’s focus on one area of our lives where we can improve. Let’s remind ourselves that we may have messed up, yet that doesn’t mean we are messed up.
Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love
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