I have always known that when I am of service, I benefit much more from it than anyone else does. I have the honor of helping someone, yet in turn, I am truly helping myself. Additionally, when I turn my pain and my suffering into a passion– or better yet, when I use my negative experiences to help others, I truly feel as though all of the bad for some reason made sense, or was okay, even though I would not want it and I would not hope for it to happen to anyone else.

What I have long believed, and continue to believe, is that the freedom of choice we have is only in how we respond. The correct question to ask is ‘what now’, not ‘why’, as we will never truly know, or understand why.

It seems that the current climate has brought out so many more mental health issues, and sometimes I lay awake at night and beseech God, saying “Why? Why so much pain? Why so much suffering? Why, generation after generation, do your children have to go through so much? Why can’t we coast a bit– why does the experience have to be so challenging?”

It is when I understand that in asking ‘now what’, as opposed to ‘why’, that I can focus on happiness. I can focus on faith. I can focus on surrender and acceptance, and I can remind myself that control is nothing but an illusion.

My question to you is: How do you make sense of all of the suffering and all of the pain? Furthermore, how do you console people who are suffering, or have loved ones who are suffering?

I want to leave you with a lesson from the bible. The Jewish people witnessed the greatest miracles when they were taken out of Egypt– God literally did everything for them, and yet all they did was complain, it was only when they built the temple that they finally stopped complaining. The lesson being: don’t do for others– help them do for themselves. Teach them how to be builders, how to grow, and how to be proud of themselves. Handouts harm our fellows, while hand-ups help them to shine.

This week, let’s hold each other accountable, and help others be builders. Moving forward, no more handouts, only hand-ups.

Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love


I want to remind all of you that you can hear more on my podcast, Showing Up. We have lots of amazing shows with interesting guests on a variety of personal development topics. It would be great if you could also rate 5 stars, review and subscribe to the show. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/showing-up-with-asher-gottesman/id1489856285y