Life boils down to a series of decisions. Decisions that, in both major and minor ways, drive the end result. While we do our best to control each one, we can not always predict their impact.
Last night, my daughter got engaged (yes, I’m far too young to have a married daughter but here we are anyway).
And 18 years ago, her mother and I made a decision that likely influenced this ultimate moment. You see, our daughter was originally enrolled in our local community day school and was all set to start kindergarten. About four weeks before the start of the kindergarten year, the school informed us that many parents complained that our daughter had received special treatment. Though she didn’t meet the age cutoff to be placed in the class of an older age group, she was going to be allowed to enroll with them anyway. The parents insisted she should be in a younger class like all the other girls her age.
Rather than fight for her to be in the older class, as was our wish, we simply enrolled her in the older kindergarten class of a different school. I truly believed she would simply return to the community school system that best aligned with our family values and lifestyle.
My daughter had other plans. She thrived in this new school and fell right into a loving community. She eventually continued on through the 8th grade and onward with her girlfriends.
This had felt like a seemingly minor decision 18 years ago, and a temporary one at that. However, the relationships she made and the experiences she had have everything to do with the woman she is today. And the person she has chosen to spend her life with. A man that shares her beliefs and values.
In reflecting on that, I can’t help but be humbled. When those parents made their complaints to the school I was annoyed and angered. In my narrowed perspective, I thought they were being spiteful and causing harm.
Last night, I felt a true reassurance that life was unfolding just as it should be. I felt gratitude for our family’s blessing. I felt a sense of peace.
What a great lesson for me to learn to trust the process. To recognize that we don’t always have the “perfect” blueprint. To remain flexible. And to remember to focus on our controllables – amongst many, the love and kindness we show our community, and the support and the guidance we give our children. As they say, man plans and God laughs.
This week, reflect on the things in your life you’ve deemed as negative or unfavorable. I challenge you to reframe those beliefs. Surrender a bit and see what you can accomplish under the belief that the world is operating in your favor, even if you can’t always predict the outcome.
Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love