‘Ghosting’ is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
Typically, this happens in romantic relationships, however, I have seen it happen in friendships and even social or business relationships.
I had an experience this past week with ghosting that I would like to share with you, and I welcome your feedback.
I went to spend the day with a prospective client; I wouldn’t call him a friend–at least not yet. I thought we had a great day; he was very warm and complimentary in showing me where I would stay when we met the next time, etc. All indications were that the engagement was a go.
I texted him, thanking him, telling him what an honor it was to spend the day with him, and that I looked forward to working together. One day went by with no response. Then two days with no response, and now three days with no response. Ironically, I introduced him to a colleague regarding help with a manuscript, who he promptly responded to.
My intellectual response was, “okay, we don’t win them all and for whatever reason, he either doesn’t want to or doesn’t know how to say he doesn’t want to work with me”.
That being said, my internal emotional response started telling me all sorts of negative stories, telling me I’m an imposter, I’m a failure, I’m not as good as I think I am, etc. etc. etc.
Have you experienced anything like this? If so, what story do you tell yourself to talk yourself off the ledge? Finally, how do you comfort yourself so that you don’t go further down the rabbit hole of negative thinking?
My technique to help me diffuse the negative self-talk is to thank it, to honor it, to let it know that I’m grateful for all the lessons it has taught me, and how it’s attempting to save my life by telling me to hide, to not put myself out there so I can’t get hurt. Then, I tell my thoughts that I’m going to honor my adult self, I’m going to re-parent myself, and know that what this gentleman does or says has nothing to do with me, and that I am worthy, qualified, loved, and have the capacity to love.
This week, let’s choose not to buy the negative thoughts our mind is constantly trying to sell us. Let’s tell ourselves that we are good, capable, worthy of being loved and lovable, for that is the truth regardless of what our mind tries to tell us.
Accountability, Community, Unconditional Love
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